What causes pain during sex?

Question

Hello doctor,

How do I make sex hurt less?

Every time I insert a toy, it feels like fire and it feels like my hole is not big enough, even if I only do a finger, and I always make sure to use more than enough lube. I have never really been able to have sex without it hurting.

Please help.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I have gone through your query and understand your concern.

I am sorry that you are experiencing this. Pain during penetration, especially a burning sensation and a feeling of tightness, can have multiple possible causes. Here are some possibilities and steps to help:

Possible causes

Vaginismus – An involuntary tightening of vaginal muscles that makes penetration painful or impossible.
Pelvic floor dysfunction – Overactive or tight pelvic muscles can cause discomfort.
Vaginal dryness or irritation – Even with lube, certain ingredients (like glycerin or warming agents) can cause burning.
Infections or skin conditions – Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or conditions like lichen sclerosus can cause pain.
Hormonal imbalances – Low estrogen (even in younger people) can lead to vaginal tightness and discomfort.
Nerve sensitivity or vestibulodynia – Some people experience a burning sensation due to nerve hypersensitivity around the vaginal entrance.
Psychological factors – Anxiety, past trauma, or even subconscious fear can make penetration more difficult and painful.

What you can try
1. Pelvic floor relaxation exercises – Try deep belly breathing and relaxing your pelvic muscles consciously.
2. Desensitization with dilators – Start with a small size and gradually work up, focusing on relaxation.
3. Switch lubes – Try a silicone-based lubricant or one made for sensitive skin (without glycerin, parabens, or warming agents).
4. Warm up more – Spend extra time on foreplay or external stimulation before attempting penetration.
5. Check for infections – If you experience itching, discharge, or persistent pain, a gynecologist can test for infections.
6. See a pelvic floor therapist – A specialist can help with exercises and relaxation techniques tailored to your situation.
7. Consult a gynecologist – If this has always been an issue, getting a professional evaluation is crucial. They might check for underlying conditions.
  
  Would you like recommendations for specific dilators or exercises?
  
  I hope I have answered your question.
  
  Let me know if I can assist you further.
  
  Thank you.