How to overcome low sex drive and masturbation difficulties?

Question

Hi doctor,

I am a 21-year-old female and take contraceptives called Ovoplex. I changed them once already from Edelson in hopes to fix my problem. Between the ages of 16 and 18, I could easily masturbate three or more times a day and reach orgasm within minutes. I had a very high libido but had not had any sexual relationships yet. At 18, I got worried about my strong desire for pleasure, so from one day to another, I completely stopped masturbating and suppressing any sexual desires and thoughts until three months later, when I met my current boyfriend. I tried to once again get back to my more sexual self with no success. For the first months, I was not able to feel any pleasure at all, whether masturbating, doing oral, or during regular sex. It took about five months until I was finally able to reach orgasm, but it was not even close to as strong as the ones I used to have. It has been three years now, and I still experience some difficulty to reach orgasm, especially a strong one. I have tried all sorts of lubricants, videos, and toys. They have helped greatly with time, and I am able to reach orgasm, but usually only when alone, masturbating and using a vibrator or visual stimulation. However, I am not able to reach orgasm with my partner. It has been incredibly difficult and stressful at times. My boyfriend is kind and patient and does not pressure me, but I still feel like since the day I decided to create this mental block on my sexual desire, I have not been able to fully get back my libido or ability to reach orgasm. I do not know how to release myself fully as I used to. I would appreciate any suggestions now.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I read your query and understand your concerns.

Although there can be multiple ways to help you in achieving orgasm but considering the nature of the post, I will suggest you following:

1. First of all, stop evaluating yourself. Before you can release during a sexual act, it is important to have a free mind from all worries, including difficulty in having orgasms.

2. Second, but more important, forget about what you have done in the past. I understand that it is important to understand psychopathology, but ruminating on it, again and again, is likely to create more problems than any help.

I hope this answers you.

Feel free to contact me for detailed guidance if necessary.

Thanks again.