Introduction
Anxious attachment is one of the attachment styles. These styles develop in early life and remain stable. There are four styles of attachment. One of the human tendencies is to seek support, love, and comfort from others by maintaining or seeking relationships. The main drive of an individual is the need to belong.
What Is Anxious Attachment?
Anxious attachment develops due to inconsistent parenting among children in early childhood. This is one of the attachment styles of four types. It is also known as anxious ambivalent attachment.
All want to get appreciated, given attention, and support. Everyone needs love, security, and to be valued. No one wants to be left alone. It is normal to seek approval, support, and emotional responsiveness from family, partners, and friends.
Everyone gets fear when it comes to losing someone very close to them. It is considered normal. Some start controlling their relationships because of the need for safety and fear of losing. It is difficult to identify the insecure attachment style among adults.
Attachment theory was first proposed by psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby in 1950. The child’s relationship with parents or caregivers helps develop how they interact socially and with other relationships later in life.
The child starts to interact with parents or caregivers socially. This is the time when the brain starts to perceive social interactions. If the parents and caregivers provide a warm and good environment, the child develops a secured bonding.
The child is indirectly taught about love, and support is given to the child; others will identify emotions and trust people around them. If the child does not receive good care, then the child cannot perceive a good security bond with parents or caregivers.
There are four types of attachment styles present.
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Anxious attachment (preoccupied).
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Avoidant attachment (dismissive)
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Disorganized (fearful-avoidant)
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Secure attachment.
Attachment styles influence on:
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The ability to share emotions and needs with partners, friends, and family.
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Response to any conflict.
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Developing expectations about any relationships.
Attachment styles can also be divided into secure or insecure attachments. Anxious attachment is a form of insecure attachment.
What Are the Causes of Anxious Attachment?
Though parenting styles and behavior play a role in the development of attachment styles, researchers are not sure of what causes anxious attachment. The main contributor to the development of anxious attachment is inconsistent parenting styles.
The parent of an affected child is generally insensitive, inconsistent in behavior, not available for the emotions of the child in need, and shows oppositeness at other times. They may also be slow and inconsistent in responding to a child’s distress. This makes the child get confused and insecure. The children develop and act clingy and whiny toward parents and caregivers to meet their needs.
There may be a possibility that genetics may play a role in developing anxious attachment.
What Are the Signs of Anxious Attachments?
The signs of anxious attachment can be seen among children and adults. Among children, anxiousness is seen when the caregiver or a parent gets separated. In adulthood, these may need reassurance and affection from their partners.
Signs of anxious attachment in children:
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Children cry continuously and cannot be consoled.
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Become very upset when the caregiver separates from them.
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Children will always be with the person whom they are attached to.
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Children with anxious attachments do not explore things as other children of their age do.
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Children look anxious.
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These children do not interact with outsiders easily.
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Children experience problems in the regulation of positive and negative emotions.
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Children show aggressiveness and have poor interaction with their peers.
Signs of anxious attachment among adults:
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Adults find difficulty in trusting others.
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Adults exhibit low self-value.
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Adults worry about their partners that they may leave them.
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These adults aspire for closeness and intimacy.
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Adults with anxious attachment are more dependent on their relationships.
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Adults need reassurance about the care others give.
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These adults are more sensitive to their partner’s mood and actions.
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Adults affected with anxious attachment are highly emotional, impulsive, and unpredictable.
People affected with anxious attachments may develop anxiety disorders. Children who are affected may develop anxiety disorders later in life.
Anxiety disorders that may develop include,
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Generalized anxiety disorder.
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Panic attacks.
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Depression.
These disorders are generally more common among females than males.
How Does Anxious Attachment Affect Relationships?
Individuals affected by an anxious attachment may find feeling secure in any relationship difficult. The relationships will be stressful, emotional, negative, and unstable.
A study has found that women affected with this disorder were abused during their childhood and had difficulty in relationships later in life.
What Can Help Be Given to Partners Affected by Anxious Attachment?
The following help can be provided to make them feel more secure.
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Reassurance is to be given.
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Continuous attention is to be given.
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Promises and commitments are to be kept and followed up.
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They should be encouraged to learn self-awareness and self-reflection to overcome anxiety.
How to Change the Attachment Style?
It is difficult to change the attachment style that developed during childhood. The individual may improve by becoming self-aware and through efforts to feel secure. The following can be done.
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Being aware in relationships.
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Reconnect briefly to the emotions occurring in anxiety and how to react to these emotions.
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Cognitive behavioral therapy ( changing thoughts) and mindful exercises are useful for changing attachment style.
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A therapist or a counselor’s help may be taken to overcome this issue.
How to Prevent Anxious Attachment?
Anxious attachment can be prevented by
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Responding to a child’s distress lovingly and sensitively whenever necessary.
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In the case of adults, they should practice communicating properly with their loved ones directly and clearly.
Changing the way to communicate is challenging. This can be achieved with the help of a therapist or a counselor.
Conclusion
Anxious attachment develops due to neglect, abuse, and the unavailable of the caregiver during emotions. These may pose problems like anxiety disorders later in life. Hence it is important to know about this issue, its causes, symptoms, and how to deal with it. Knowing helps to achieve a good quality of life by seeking help early.
